


No Life Without You

by Julieoftarth (Wherethereissmoak)



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, F/M, JBWeek2018, cowboy Jaime
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 12:19:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wherethereissmoak/pseuds/Julieoftarth
Summary: Ranch owner Jaime Lannister has memories of a previous life, and the new cowhand who shows up looking for a job is featured in those memories.





	No Life Without You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hardlyfatal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hardlyfatal/gifts).



> This fic is for the JB Week prompt from hardlyfatal - reincarnation with cowboy Jaime. This was quite the labor of love today, so I hope it is relatively close to what you were hoping for? Enjoy!

It was new hire day at the ranch. Jaime had been the owner of this land for three years and had made a pretty good spread for himself. Each year he was able to expand his operation and hire one or two more cowhands.

Jaime rode out with the herd himself. It wasn’t as if he had a family to come home to each day to keep him near his sod cabin he had built on the side of the hill. And even a rancher with one arm could do some good at keeping rustlers away from the herd.

After Jaime lost his hand in an accident five years ago, he had fled his family home and the rich, posh life of the Lannisters. The strange thing that happened to him after the accident did not help him feel settled in his home. He kept having strange “memories.” Memories of swords, and wars, unspeakable things about his sister, and the evil deeds of many of his family members. There was one positive thing about those haunting visions – Brienne. Even though she was a figment of his imagination, he missed her with vengeance. He felt like he had a Brienne-sized hole in his heart.

Shortly after he left home, however, he learned that his visions were more than that, they were actually memories from a past life. A young blacksmith approached him and called him “Ser Jaime,” one of the names he was often referred to in his dreams. The man, Gendry, had told him that he shared the same affliction and that an old crone had come to tell him that he lived a past life.

“Funny thing, I was a blacksmith in that life too,” the man said.

After that conversation with Gendry, Jaime began to look for the tall blonde woman he yearned for everywhere. She was real, and he knew he had to find her.

For two years he searched, traveling from city to city, but he never spotted her. He didn’t even hear rumors about a woman like her. Brienne was unique enough that she would surely cause talk. But he found nothing. Maybe she didn’t journey into this new life like he did, Jaime thought sadly.

Jaime shook himself from his melancholy thoughts and forced himself to exit his cabin to interview the cowhand candidates that had arrived today. Bronn, his foreman, said that the pickings were slim because some of the larger ranches had enticed away the best options with their promise of higher pay. But that was alright with Jaime, he preferred a loyal team over someone that was just there for the money.

The dust swept through the air as he walked toward the bunkhouse, where the potential cowhands had gathered. He pulled his hat over his blonde messy hair and pulled his bandana over his beard and mouth to keep the dust that was blowing in the air away. Jaime knew that the sun had tanned the skin between his hat and bandana and he probably would not be recognizable by any of his family members back home.

He approached the bunkhouse and motioned for Bronn to send the individuals over one by one for their interviews. The first was a young lad named Podrick. He knew nothing about ranching but seemed eager to please and strong enough. Jaime hired him on the spot, because he remembered a very similar lad in his memories from his other life.

The second interview was with a huge brute of a man named Gregor Clegane. Jaime shivered when Bronn announced his name, and Jaime had an off-putting feeling about him immediately. Maybe they had met in that other life as well. He declined to hire the man, and Clegane vowed revenge against their ranch. Jaime patted the gun that was strapped to his side and the man glared and marched away in a rage.

Next up was a man name Brian, who looked big and strong enough in his walk over to Jaime to handle the job well. But when the man reached out to shake his hand, Jaime gasped. He would recognize those blue eyes anywhere.

It was her.

Brienne was pretending to be Brian the cowhand. Jaime shook her hand, and she gave no indication that she recognized him.

She must not have had the memory visions at all.  Jaime’s heart broke a little at that. To have her so close, but not be able to hold her like he remembered. To kiss her.

But having her here was better than not at all, and maybe he could help her remember.

“You’re hired, _Mister_ Brian,” he said with a smile. He leaned forward so that he was close to her ear. “But if you want people to be convinced you are a man, you had better figure out how to pull that off when you are on long cattle drives.”

When her eyes widened, he walked away, whistling. This was going to be fun.

**

He _knew_. Mr. Lannister knew that she was a woman and he had hired her anyway. But how had he known? No one had seen through her disguise in more than two years, since she left home. Not wanting the debutante lifestyle her family had planned out for her – Brienne had fled donned in trousers and a shirt that felt more comfortable for her than any dress. She cut her hair short, and because of her tall stature and unfeminine form, had been able to pass as a man and hire out for work ever since.

Life at the Lannister Ranch were interesting. Brienne had never felt like she had a place in the world, but somehow here, she felt like she…fit. Like she was coming home from a very long journey.

Part of that feeling came from the ranch owner himself – she never imagined someone would know her secret and not treat her with contempt or force her to be a lady. Jaime Lannister allowed her to continue to be Brian Tarth around the other ranch hands, but still found ways to be accommodating to her.

The day she arrived, he had declared that he didn’t feel right about living in his cushy cabin all alone while they lived in the bunk house. So, he decided he would move in the bunkhouse with them.

 _He’s looking out for me, although I don’t know why. I can handle myself against any man,_ she thought. But still, it was nice to know someone cared enough to do such a thing for her.

When they were all out on a drive, he suddenly found things for people to do before they went and cleaned up at the river so that she would have time to hurry down and take care of her necessities first.

And it wasn’t just her that he cared for. Jaime Lannister was a good man. The other ranch hands had been hard on young Podrick due to his youth and lack of experience, but Mr. Lannister took the lad under his wing and trained him. Brienne lent a hand whenever she could. Pod was proving to be a quick learner.

Whenever they were out on long cattle drives, Mr. Lannister usually ended up sitting up with her by the fire for many hours after the other hands had gone to sleep, asking about her life and sharing stories about his. It was something she looked forward to every day. It was the one time a day she could truly be herself, and it seemed that Mr. Lannister enjoyed her company.

Jaime, she let herself refer to him as in her heart of hearts, his name is Jaime. If she was honest with herself, Brienne would admit that she was starting to have feelings for the man. But girls like her didn’t get to indulge in such dreams.

With Mr. Lannister’s help, Brienne was able to keep her gender a secret for several months, until they were set upon by a gang of cattle rustlers. They had caught the bandits in the act, but that had resulted in a fire and fist fight. The Lannister Team had won, but Brienne had taken a bullet to the shoulders.

“Brienne!” Jaime yelled as rushed toward her when she started to lose her balance. As she fell to the ground, unconscious, her last thought was that she hadn’t recalled ever telling him her real name.

**

Jaime finally was able to calm down when they patched up Brienne’s wounds and laid her down to sleep by the fire. She would be alright, but he had been scared for her for a moment with all that blood and falling over. He had just found Brienne, and he didn’t want to lose her.

“Boss man, we heard what you called her. Brienne. She’s a lady, huh?” Podrick said softly so that he didn’t wake her.

“She took out four of those rustlers herself, that’s no lady, that’s a warrior,” Sandor Clegane said gruffly. Clegane had joined up with their outfit the moment he had heard they sent his brother away without a job. Apparently, there was no love between the two of them. “And she’s a part of this team and anyone who says differently can deal with me.”

Jaime was relieved that Sandor and Podrick came to her defense so quickly, she had earned their respect. The other cowhands fell in line quickly.

When she woke up, they treated her no differently, except that Jaime did not have to give them as many chores when she needed a bath. They were all respectful of her private time.

Jaime tried not to treat her as if she was made of eggshells after that, but almost losing her had shaken him to the core.

She grumbled at him whenever he tried to lighten her load while she healed, but he just laughed it out and helped her anyway.

“Mr. Lannister?”

“Yes, Miss Tarth?”

“I’ve been wanting to ask you how you knew my name before I told it to you? Did you guess it because Brienne is close to Brian? Doesn’t seem likely since that’s not a common name.”

Jaime debated telling her the truth or coming up with a ridiculous lie, but he frankly was tired of pretending. He said a quick prayer to the gods that his words would not scare her away.

“I get these…memories…sometimes. Of a different time and a different life. I was a knight. And you are in those memories too, and also a knight,” Jaime said.

She stared at him with concern. “How long have these ‘memories’ been happening to you? Did you hit your head on something?”

He shook hid head. “No, I’ve had them since right after I lost my hand. That must have triggered something because in that other lifetime I lost my hand too.”

Brienne looked at him with understanding. “Ah, the trauma addled your brain.”

“No, wench, that is not it. If it was just my mind playing tricks on me then how did I know you were a woman when we first met, and how did I now your name?”

“Lucky guess?”

“You don’t believe in luck, you told me so yourself the other night by the campfire.”

Brienne scowled. “Well, maybe I was wrong, because that’s the only logical explanation.”

“Fuck logic, Brienne.”

“Fuck logic?”

He nodded. “I remember you from another lifetime and you were important to me.”

“How important?”

“I think we were married.”

Brienne blushed at his words. Ah, so the wench had feelings for him in this life as well. It gave him hope that she wouldn’t abandon him because she thought he was mad.

“I’ve never thought I would ever be married. Did I look different in this different lifetime of yours?” She seemed hopeful in her question.

“No, you looked exactly the same as you do now, down to the astonishing blue eyes.”

Brienne blushed even more. “Mr. Lannister this is a very odd way for someone to express their affection for someone. You could have just told me rather than come up with this convoluted story.”

“It’s not a story!” Jaime practically yelled at her, but he was relieved when she didn’t flee from him. “And I will find a way to show you someday. But for now, please don’t run away because you think I’m crazy.”

Brienne studied him for a minute. “I don’t think you’re crazy. And I think you believe what you are saying. But Mr. Lannister, it sounds too strange to be true.”

He nodded. “I know, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, you’ve given me a job and a home here when no one else would. I’m not going anywhere, you don’t have to worry.”

“Thank you, Brienne,” he said, reaching out to grab her hand. She stared down at their joined hands for a moment before finally pulling away.

**

They fell into a normal pace of life after that, for several months. When he was in the process of hiring new cowhands that fall, Jaime punched one of the interviewees in the face that had something negative to say about Brienne. Sandor and Podrick were next in line. The new help finally got the message that she was a cowhand, just like them and deserved their respect.

Brienne had never been happier in her life, and yet it was dulled a bit every time she saw Jaime staring at her sadly. She wished she could believe his story, but it was too insane.

It was nearing Thanksgiving when Jaime and Brienne were on a ride on the west side of the ranch, securing the fences and making sure everything was secure for the winter to come. She liked the days when she and Jaime could ride out alone. When they weren’t on cattle runs and able to spend nights around the campfire, she missed their conversations.

Plus, she admired how he looked in the saddle, especially when she rode behind him. Perhaps it was wrong for her to think such thoughts about her boss, but he thought they were married in another life, so it was probably alright. She wondered what it would be like to kiss him.

Brienne knew that he was holding himself in check when it came to that sort of thing because he didn’t want to force the feelings he thought he carried over from another life onto her in the one they were living. She didn’t know how to tell him that she wouldn’t mind that at all and she didn’t care what his reasons were for wanting to kiss her.

They stopped to mend a fence post that had fallen over. Brienne was trying to concentrate on her work, and not Jaime’s strong arms as he helped lift the post and put it into the ground. She was amazed and how adept he was without one of his hands.

They heard a growling noise in the distance and looked up to see a bear lumber toward the watering hole. They held their breaths, but let them out when they saw that it did not turn in their direction.

“It’s a bit south for bears,” Brienne pointed out. Jaime, however, just looked at the bear wistfully.

“I fought a bear once, in my other life,” he said.

“It attacked you?”

He grinned. “No, it attacked you. And all you had was a wooden sword, so I jumped between you too.”

“Now I know that’s just a made up story. Why would I raise a wooden sword against a bear? And you know I certainly wouldn’t need you to come and rescue me,” Brienne said. “I can rescue myself.”

Jaime laughed. “You certainly usually did, but I helped just a couple of times.”

They worked in silence for a few minutes, making sure the post would stay in the ground and the rest of the fence around it was secure.

“Mr. Lannister…I mean…Jaime?”

She saw his head lift at that, for she had never called him Jaime before.

“Yes, Brienne?”

“Do you think you could like me?”

“I do like you.”

She shook her head. “No, I mean, do you think you could care for me. Like you do that other Brienne, even if I’m not her?”

Jaime dropped the piece of fence he was working on and strode over to her. He reached up and cupped her cheek with his hand.

“I care a great deal for you, Brienne, just as you are,” he said, and then he leaned down and kissed her. When their lips met, so many things happened at once.

Brienne felt like she was coming to life, her whole body responded with joy to what was happening. And then it felt like her brain was on fire. Memory after memory poured into her. Tarth. Renly. Catelyn. Jaime. The bear pit. Oathkeeper.

She pulled away from their kiss and promptly punched him in the face.

“Ouch! What was that for? I thought you wanted me to kiss you!”

“I did! That was for dying you idiot! You had to charge that horde of white walkers to save my life, didn’t you?”

Jaime stared at her in shock. “Brienne? You remember?”

“Yes, and I didn’t live very long after that, so your sacrifice was especially stupid,” she scolded him.

He brushed his hand over face. “Silly wench, there was nothing left for me if you were gone. You truly do remember?”

“I remember everything. Oh Jaime, I’m sorry I forgot our life.” She wrapped her arms around him and kissed him again.

“It’s alright, wench, I’m sure you addled your brains in that armor of yours too many times. Some memories were bound to fall out,” he teased when they finally separated.

She punched him in the arm. “I still can kick your ass in any life, don’t forget that _Ser_ Jaime.”

He grinned as he rubbed the sore spot. “Brienne, will you marry me? In this lifetime too?”

She agreed and kissed him again.

The other cowhands didn’t question why the boss and Brienne took longer on their rounds that day. Nor did they blink an eye when Jaime suddenly announced that he was moving out of the bunkhouse and back into his cabin. Or that Brienne moved with him.

Podrick took up playing the guitar to help drown out the noises coming out of that house, though. There was only so much a lonely cowpoke could take.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
